Sunday, September 25


We rocked, we romped.

Yesterday we hit the final Rock n' Romp of the year.

It was nice to get sweet compliments from most folks there. Lots of mouths agog, some commenting on their good-nature, some asking about daily life. It was nice to talk shop with other parents and see other babies and children with really awsome names. (Wyatt, Fergus, Ruby.) The Tombs opened up, so we got to see Uncle Stevie and Uncle Don rock the toddler set with a heavy sound.

Now, I have to admit it; deep down I'm a tattle-tale. It's true. When I was a kid, if you were doing something I thought was bad, mean, or just not kosher, most likely I ratted you out. Go ahead and call me a fag, but, believe me, once the dust settles, if I don't protect me and mine, I'm gonna catch some heat when you get yours. Trust me. I will throw you under the bus if I'm in the line of fire.

So, now I have to tattle on Zelda. She was about four and made herself right at home on our blanket. No questions asked, or nothin'. All of a sudden, we had a fourth child to manage. By the time I wondered aloud who she belonged to, she practically leapt on Emmett, nearly hit him with a marocca and let out a sneeze. (She also helped herself to some other kid's snacks.) Finally, her daddy called out for her and she left as soon as she came in.

So, Zelda, if you're out there. Shame on you. You should know better. We probably would have let you see the baby and make friends if you acted nicely.

And if Zelda's parents are out there, buy a parenting book or somethin', willya? Me and my crew got three to take care of. I have no time to manage your kid, too.

Wednesday, September 21


7 things

7 Things I Plan to do Before I Die:

1. Maintain a healthy body weight. About 200 pounds should fit.
2. Visit Sicily.
3. Speak another language fluently. (Besides English.)
4. Have my own business. Make a that a sucessful business.
5. Dance the Foxtrot.
6. Play drums on stage with a band. Even just once.
7. Raise three good people.

7 Things I Can Do

1. Make a killer cheese and onion omlette.
2. Calculate my 9-times tables on my hands.
3. Build a campfire. (Without gasoline.)
4. Draw well with vine charcoal.
5. Remeber minute details about long past events.
6. Kick your sorry ass at Scrabble.
7. Stay married.

7 Things I Cannot Do

1) Auto repair
2) Kill a defenseless animal.
3) Run fast for very long.
4) Calculus.
5) Sit Indian-style on the floor.
6) Drink all night.
7) Win a fistfight.

7 Things That Attract me to the Opposite Sex:

1) Eyes
2) Smile
3) Intelligence
4) Laugh
5) Hiney
6) Boobies
7) A tolerence for geekiness

7 things that I say most often:

1) Right on!
2) FAN-tastic!
3) Who dis?
4) Let's get lunch.
5) F*ck!
6) Goorgle-hmmph-umphaba. (Repeated baby babble.)
7) Yes, Dear.

7 celebrity crushes:

1) Aisha Tyler
2) Alyson Hannigan
3) Bettie Page
4) Christina Ricci
5) Kristen Davis
6) Emilie de Raven
7) Teri Hatcher

5 people I want to do this:

Hey. As far as I'm concerned, if your reading it, you can fill it out.


Tuesday, September 20


Pimp my ride

Originally uploaded by ExLionTamer.

Yes, dear friends, my sweetheart Sallie Jayne is up for sale.

Alas, I haven't had the time or money to get her running strong for several years. Now with the triplets, it's just next to impossible to keep her.

Now for the particulars. She's a '63 Ford Galaxie 500 XL 4-door hardtop with about 88,000 miles. It's got the original Thunderbird 390 engine, power windows, power brakes, and a Ford-O-Matic three speed transmission.

The 4-barrel carburetor was just rebuilt and cleaned. But I gotta admit, she needs a little more TLC. The plan is to get the exhuast leak at the heads taken care of. Plus a new set of points, distributor cap and condenser are hopefully going to lick the issue of stalling in gear. She's lived in the garage for a little to long, so she sorta smells like a basement right now.

Like a beloved pet, I'm on a mission to find her a good home. If you know anyone interested, send them my way. I'm ready to talk.

Monday, September 19


Emmett's tongue

Emmett's tongue
Originally uploaded by ExLionTamer.

..and other greatest hits are up on Flickr.

Wednesday, September 7


I'm not fun anymore.

I'm not really talkative lately because not much is not that new or interesting.

Like the rest of America, I've been watching CNN coverage of what's left of New Orleans. What can I say that hasn't already been said? Perhaps if Katrina had actually made a direct hit on the city, something bigger could have been done sooner. Feh. I'll leave it at that. I have no business being another Monday morning FEMA director.

This past weekend the family-in-law made a trip up from Lexington to see our offspring. It had been a month since they last saw them, so it was like 3 new babies for all of them. Saturday we left the kids with Niki and shopped all day, caught happy hour at The Grand Cru, and then went to chow down at Golden West.

Sunday we got out early and hit the Farmer's Market. While getting coffee, I lost track of the crew and frantically searched the market. Let's just say when I was found, I had a complete and public tantrum. Yes, I forgot my celphone and, apparently, my manners, but I had my asshat.

How serious was it? Let's just say I had to convince the cops that approached me that, indeed, I was not planning to become violent. Plus, here at the casa, the repercussions spilled into Monday, complete with shreiking, finger-pointing, mocking, pantomime and a dramatic storming out of the house at 6:30 in the morning.

I'm so very not proud of my recurring explosive anger. In fact, I'm terribly ashamed. I need help and I'm determined to get it. The good news is I'm seeing the shrink next week and the Zoloft is getting refilled.

What else? We're still trying to get the kids to sleep through the night. On average, they're up twice before seven. Luckily, they tend to clump their times of need within minutes of one another. Yes, my sleeping hours are down. Hopefully not for long. Like, for a few more months, maybe?

And I know I owe you some pictures. Well, maybe next time. I don't feel like it.

Friday, September 2



Taking a cue from Molly Goatwax, since Katrina has passed in New Orleans, I find these lyrics to the song "Reuters" by Wire to be errily appropriate.

Our own correspondant is sorry to tell
Of an uneasy time that all is not well
On the borders there's movement
In the hills there is trouble
Food is short, crime is double
Prices have risen since the government fell
Casualties increase as the enemy shell
The climate's unhealthy, flies and rats thrive
And sooner or later the end will arrive
This is your correspondant, running out of tape
Gunfire's increasing, looting, burning, rape

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?